I was proofing chapter 1 of book 2 (still to be named) and realized that the book is starting out very different than it’s predecessor. Not sure that’s a good thing considering the positive reviews I received for the beginning of THIRTEEN.
You be the judge.
The beginning of THIRTEEN.
Jack’s eyes snapped open. His heart was beating so hard he was sure he saw a heart shaped object protruding from his chest. The light flicked on and his mom flew into the room, phone in hand, scanning for the source of the noise. Mom get out of my room, he thought.
“What’s that?” Her dark hair was disheveled from sleep and her brown eyes wide with panic. “It sounds like gunfire.”
“Gunfire?” Jack sprang out of bed.
The hollow bursts echoed through the early morning air, louder than any of the alarm clocks still waiting to wake the sleeping neighborhood. He could hear the rat-a-tat-tat of machine gun fire as he stared out the window, seeing only the backyard and the tall green fence of trees. Everything looked the same. Nothing was different. Still, something was happening.
Now the beginning of Book 2.
White tendrils of fog rose like fingers wrapping around the boat as if some ghost from below wanted to pull it down into the black depths.
Everyone willed the boat to go faster, to get to their destination quicker, yet no one dared ask the Captain to start the larger engine of the two.
The tension increased on the deck with every passing minute. Darkness surrounded them, hiding their fears or maybe intensifying them as they could not see if the enemy was lurking behind it. The eerie green from the GPS was the only light allowed and even that was muted as low as possible.
Jack could just make out the shapes of the men, women, and children on the deck below huddled together knowing the slightest sound would skip along the water’s surface to alert the enemy patrols. His heart went out to these people, refugees fleeing captivity or worse. Their only hope to get to the waiting ship, their only chance at freedom lay in the Captain’s hands. Would they succeed in delivering these poor people to safety?
As you can see book 1 starts off with a lot of noise, while book 2 is starting off with silence.
What are your thoughts? Is it back to the drawing room or am I good to go?